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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Yeah, you're right. It was the worst day for me so far. Yesterday, I Came back from the Dentist feeling down because there were so many complications. I have always hated going to the Dentist. Been going since I can't remember. Sometimes, I feel like God is being unfair. He made me with so much complications to deal with. Looking at others and observing how perfect they are in their own ways, I must say, I wish I could have been the same. Well, let me just start off by saying this is not a post where I'll be my old jolly and crazy self since something terrible happened to me yesterday. My dog passed away. Really, I don't get it how some people can take it all so calmly and hide their sadness. I couldn't do it but I probably could try. :) Reached home at about 3.30pm, changed and went down to eat. Monk was on so I ate while watching it. While eating, I heard something, some sort of a whine coming from the dogs but I ignored it and instead just asked the maid to let them out of the dog house. Still, I heard it and yes, I ignored it, again. I got sleepy after I ate and the sofa bed beside me was so tempting that I lied down right after eating. I fell asleep in a moment and again I heard the whining again. After about 20 minutes, the maid came to wake me with devastating news, your dog is dying. She can't get up and blood is coming out of her behind. I woke up instantly and couldn't think properly. I sat up straight for a few minutes. I couldn't bear to go check on her without telling anyone. So I went up to Dad but he was sleeping soundly then I went to Bros room and I guess he was sleeping too. So I went down by myself. Feeling so afraid and I wasn't prepared at all to see what I was about to see. I brought two pieces of bread even when the maid said she was unable to eat, she was dying. Couldn't even open her eyes. Her whining got louder and I didn't listen. I just took the bread because whenever I bring food, she was always wagging her tail and asking for more. I went through the laundry gate and I heard her breathing loudly. I went closer and saw her face. I bent down, put the bread aside and started to cry. I cried like there was no tomorrow. Looking at her suffer like that with bit by bit of blood coming out of her body was unbearable. Once I was close to her, her whining stopped and small breaths were heard. It was like as if she was calling for me and when I was there with her, she finally stopped. My brother heard me crying and went down to see what was happening. He saw her lying there, restless, waiting for her time to come. All he could do was stare and call out her name softly. He then asked me to go upstairs but I couldn't. I swore to myself that I was gonna stay with her till the end. In between my cries, I calmed down a bit and sang her a song. Telling her that it's okay to go to sleep. I felt like she was trying her best to stay alive just to be with me. I knew because despite from all the blood and the horrible smell, I opened the gate to stroke her neck and face for the very last time. She felt my hands upon her fur and was trying to open her eyes, but all i saw were tears. I sang and said her name quietly which made her wag her tail for the last time to tell me that She will always love me. I stayed there, tears rolling down my cheeks and felt the worst cause I wasn't there when she needed me the most. She then vomited black blood and took her last breath with me beside her crying loudly for my dad to come. I was taken in the house with Lydia stroking my hair while i rest my head on her thighs. She cried silently too because she was the one who gave Boot Boot to us. There we were crying in silence. I couldn't stand the sadness. I went up to my room to cry silently till I fell asleep. Now, she is resting in peace and I'm really glad. I will never forget how she was the most calmed and obedient one. How she never jumped on me only licked my hand and always closed her eyes when i stroke her neck. Always the quiet one when it was time for a bath. Always wagging her tail just by listening to my voice. Always there to show me that she's always happy to see me. That was all I needed. I know they're just dogs and some of you might even think I'm weird for feeling so worked up about this, but really, If i had to choose, to save myself from something or bringing along my dogs with me and face the consequences from a disaster, I will definitely go with the second one. So, yes. It was a very hard day for me yesterday, but I know that you're well and happy now. I'll always love and remember you. Always. Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure and I know there'll be no more, tears in heaven. If you ever looked behind and don't like what you find, There's something you should know, you've got a place to go. 5:21 PM
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Memory lane Tagbox Hey you, got something to say? Save it. Hahahaha. Jokes. I'll work on this later. Amazing people to stalk, xoxo. Deanna Maria Emerald Alyssa Nabila Abd Rahim Jessieca Benedict Janet Jacqueline Ann Gabrielle Trysha Gayle Kimberly Rose Nadya Saveena Rajinder Kaur Cindy Andrea Leonora Richard Evanyll Rose Audrey aka Da Audz Joyce Kabinchong Eva Marie Benitta Benjamin Celeste Jayne Adreanna Joyce Myra Buhavan Biusing It's Kingsley bitches Dianna Agron |
