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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Thursday, July 30, 2009
It took me by surprise.   here i am, taking a break from doing biology. a bit more to go, maybe the rest i'll do it in class tomorrow. haha, getting late bah. Pemalas kan. Anyways, today was.. a lot of things. I laughed a lot today, and yet i still felt hurt. The pain has not been healed yet i guess. Oh and today was filled with surprises. I don't know if they are called "amazingly good news" surprise but i'll definitely take it as a unexpectable never before thought of surprise. I guess that's.. good right? so yeah, it seems that there's a good friend of mine still likes her ex but is afraid to admit but which she knows seems very obvious to the world, haha. don't worry, your secret is safe with me. *wink*. Hopefully, just hoping, no big deal. hehe. That someday you guys will be back together and have this beautiful ever after. Oh, And there's this other friend of mine, wow, before i say anything further i would just wanna say that i am in utter shock, even right now. It's that big of a surprise news. It's totally hectic but then wow, i am totally in bliss. I don't know why, i am just so vulnerable in these type of situations. Anyways, she told me that she has this big "love" thing going on with a guy, a friend of mine too, how ironic, umm, for nearly a year now and he doesn't even know. hmm, how often these types of scenes appear in movies and how awkward it is happening in real life and experiencing it. She said it was love at first sight, personally, i don't really believe in those things. Maybe cause it never happened to me, but with what i have now, is perfectly fine. So yeah, she told me that she loved him since ages ago and he doesn't know and he used to date my other friend which makes it even more crazzzzyyyy. Gosh, how complicated can life be? babe, don't be hurt, pain will only last for a while and you will get your worth the wait sunshine anytime soon. I at least assure you that. Besides, you only live once, so cheer up. Love will knock on your door once again. Wait for it, open it with open arms. You are by the way, beautiful inside and out. =) Don't give up and just let it catch you. Did i say i hate school? i think i did. i hate school. bummmmeeeerrrr. Yet, i can't stop being that girl next door. Oh, did i mention before? i don't really need you anymore, i thought i did, i thought you were trustworthy. So, i guess i was wrong about everything. But hey, that was what you thought of me too. Now, we're even right? No debts to pay, no regrets to feel bad about. Unless you.. 6:46 PM
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Come stop your crying. Keep it sweet, keep it slow and don't ever let go. So i can see how badly this will hurt me when you say goodbye. Today is a major shithole day. i don't know if there's ever such a word but that's how i would describe my day. I cried but with a very good reason. my beloved puppy died. At least it died in peace. It was a disaster when the news rang in my ears. I didn't even have to think for a second and already the tears were trying their best to stroll down my face. It was a horrible feeling. Caring and loving something to the core and hearing that you won't be able to see or hear from it anymore is just.. dreadful. Of course, it was nobody's fault. Deaths are deaths. And if it was meant to be then it just is. No matter how crucial it makes us feel. So, i learn today that if i think i have big issues, some have even bigger issues. I also learn that death is a part of my life as it happens quite often around me and i will learn to be patient and to feel and think positive. I know by praying and saying all this won't bring it back but it sure will make me stronger. You know i'll always love you. You know i'll always care. As it suffocates me through this journey, i know i will learn how to breathe again. rest in peace, buddy. 8:03 PM
Monday, July 27, 2009
I should've known it from the start. An awesome song by Demi Lovato. I just adore her. =) Can't wait for her new album! Today was a very boring but manageable day. Only a few of the teachers went in and the other periods we were either talking, playing or sleeping. Hmm, i wonder what will tomorrow be like. Hopefully, Hopeful. Till then fans. p.s Is it true AAR's Song 'i wanna' is on the radio?? If yes, im dying to hear it. =))))))) 7:31 PM
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Chapter 1: A new beginning. It has been days, maybe a week since i've last updated my blog. I know i've said i didn't have time because i was too too busy before, but this time i seriously mean it. A lot have been happening this month. July is filled with "things" to do or to think or to say. I don't know if i'll be fooling myself if i said i don't want this month to end and move on to another chaotic month. SO August is around the corner, i have not been studying properly or doing my homework clearly. It all seems a blur. Hopefully i'll have better grades than before for the upcoming test in mid-August. And since that i ahve not been blogging recently and often-ly, i'll make it up to you by posting a very long one today. Everyone is talking about New Moon now. I just hope it'll be a better success than twilight in terms of scenes and actions. so, fingers-crossed. I went to the St.Simon's Youth concert last night. It was awesome. I didn't wanted to go at first but friends were asking me to go so i went. I did not regret it. There was this time where a girl gave a talk on how she experienced life, how i wish i could have the strength to move on and be happy and lively as she could be. I somehow look up to her even if i don't know her. Her story made me listen and ponder on what happened to me. Of course my "horrible" life was not as nightmarish as hers but still they were at some points. I believe in God and i believe in miracles but i don't think it'll come to me soon. Anyways, the purpose of me writing this post today is not on what happened last night or if i had any fun or other stuff but about how i feel for these past months. When they said being a teenager is really tough, i didn't feel it. Till now. Being a teenager is really hard. Not only you get your heart stabbed billions of times and actually feeling it while it happened but also getting fooled by rumors and stories and Friends. It is very hard for met to admit that i am at a very hard stage of my life at this moment. It actually took me nights to think if i had the guts on writing this here. But here i am and here it is. Chapter 1. To being a great and honorable author, one must first put pen to paper. Well actually type is better. When i was younger i wished for a best friend. Hoping that we can share the same interests and laugh at each other without getting hurt and having each others shoulders to cry on. I waited and waited for that unlucky person to be my best friend. I will not say that i didn't have best friends before, i did but they were never there when i really needed them. despite of everything, i am forever grateful for having friends like you. I am even thankful that i have someone to refer to as a 'friend'. I once had a friend, she was awesome and ultimately beautiful inside and out. I was lucky to have her as a good friend. I must say i was even jealous of her sometimes. For she made my friendships with others fade as she grew closer to them than me. But that didn't last long as i know that we could share. We did share. We shared the moments of happiness, laughter, anger, sadness, moods, joy, love, hatred, tears and anything possible for us to feel. I cherished each and every moment experienced. I will not forget those late night stories that made us laugh even if we were half-dead on the bed and those times where we were supposed to do our homework but ended up going to a mall and eating mcD. Those times where i would just call you and express my feelings and you would just listen and not say a word and those times where we would act like total blondes and laugh about it the next second. Those times where we watched horror movies and would instead laugh at those scary and disgusting scenes just to push the fear away. Those times where we would go to mass and sshing each other when each of us were talking to other friends. Those times where we would eat eat and eat and wouldn't feel embarrassed about it because we both knew it wasn't such a big deal. Those times where we would dance and sing like crazy just to make other people laugh at our asses. Those times where we would promise each other that this was our song and wouldn't let anyone else listen to it. Those times where we would do or act disgusting stuff and wouldn't be bother about it because it was too common to us. Just the 2 of us, the friendship already seems unbreakable.    Time passed, minds changed and feelings were busted. Of course every friendship has their ups and downs. People are not perfect. That's how we're created. And that was how this amazing friendship end. I got childish and acted like a bitch to her but with a reason. Though she doesn't exactly know what was the fault that she had done to make me act in such a way, i still wanted to be her friend. I missed the friendship that we once had and i did try to end the feud. But she didn't wanted it back. She was happy with her life now without me in it and wanted it to continue that way. How foolish i am to have not see what was coming for me? How could i be so restless and not knowing that the stories of lies could be filled with truth in one's ear. Of course i was stupid then but now i know that it is the right thing to do. She will have her life back without me in it. She will have her fun and joy without me and will live in peace for i will not be the one to be said backstabbing her anymore or making the sadness and the irritation that once was in her when we were friends. I do not regret for what have happened in my life with her in it. From the joy to the pain from the fights we had to the laughter and sadness. Though the saying when we have a big fight with someone very close to us, never fear because it will only make the bod stronger. Of course by now, you can see that it didn't happen to me. yeah, we had a big misunderstanding, but though it didn't make the bond stronger and instead made me lose a best friend, it made me stronger. It made me wiser and thoughtful. Something that i didn't have before. It was an extraordinary feeling to have a friend that's there by your side whenever you need her. Though i will not share those moments with you anymore, may you be happy and hopefully you will find the friendship that we once had, only.. with someone much better. I know that you will be just fine for I could hear more laughter from you from the other side of the class and i'd think to myself that this was a better decision, she's happy and i will soon be too. Thank you for a wonderful friendship. It may have ended physically but it will never end in my heart. The past is a great pain but i think it is a grand opportunity for me to move on and begin a new chapter in my life without you in it.  you got nothing to me. 3:09 PM
Friday, July 17, 2009
EXCRUCIATING. I know i have not been blogging, again. Seriously, life has been pretty hectic, and when i say hectic, i really mean it. It's like non-stop with everything. Especially school. Ugh, school. I dislike it now. I'm always tired or bored in class. Don't know why. It seems the term "when you're a beginner in the blogger world, you tend to be interested in it for a certain period of time." I guess that period of time is gone. Because i'm not excited as i was before to post something on my blog. Of course, i will continue blogging of course. Just not, everyday. Though, i'll try my very best to update it frequently. So, i will blabber about my boring school life but i will list down what's interesting in the days to come for the month of july. =) 1. 7K marathon. 2. IS presentation. 3. Special B'day. 4. Driving thing. 5. Bex's bday. 6. *hopefully a drive to somewhere far from here. Interesting ain't it? Life, i mean. Though mine is not filled with happiness or hard-core laughter and fun, i still think it's interesting. Oh yeah! Demi Lovato's new album is coming out. oh gosh, hopefully they sell the real version here in M'sia. It would be such a mistake if they changed it. Im looking forward to it. At least that's something good i've devoured today. Good music. 7K. is. tomorrow. I wonder who will i be running/walking/not running at all/talking with. Hopefully a bunch of people. The more the merrier they said. Hope it's true when it comesto events like this. I'd love to talk about my fascinating updates with you but I just have to go on You-tube to find videos that would make me laugh till i crack. SO i guess i'll just see you at the run tomorrow. Don't be afraid to say 'hi'. lol. p.s. I will not be the one to give in. good night. 10:29 PM
Saturday, July 11, 2009
it's no use, can't be with or without you. her voice is to die for. 1:35 PM
let go. You tuck me in, Turn out the light Kept me safe and sound at night Little girls depend on things like that. Brush my teeth and comb my hair Had to drive me everywhere You were always there when I looked back. You had to do it all alone Make a living, make a home Must have been as hard as it could be. And when I couldn't sleep at night Scared* things wouldn't turn out right You would hold my hand and sing to me. Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be Can't go far but you can always dream Wish you may and wish you might Don't you worry hold on tight. I promise you there will come a day Butterfly Fly Away Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away.) Flap your wing now you cant stay Take those dreams and make them all come true Butterfly Fly Away (butterfly fly away) We been waiting for this day All along and know just what to do Butterfly, Butterfly, Butterfly, Butterfly Fly Away. 12:51 PM
Friday, July 3, 2009
for one so small, you seem so strong.           Good Night. wish me luck. *fingers crossed*. 9:06 PM
go on, fly. This is the only song i love from Miley Cyrus. It shows that she is a decent singer after all, sometimes. Though it's kinda childish, but i think it really can relate to any girl about her relationship with her dad. So yeah, a really nice song. I like how she looks here, not fake at all. So, take the time to watch it. I won't say you'll regret not watching it but i might say you won't seem to feel time passing by while watching it. =) p.s. Concert tomorrow. UGH. 9:02 PM
Kk high's annual concert.  Hey bloggers from everywhere.Tomorrow will be KK high school's annual concert. It seems to be a very big thing but no one seems to know about it. I can't say i'm excited but i'm surely thinking about it. I might be getting those butterflies in my stomach when the time to perform comes. So yeah, school has been really hectic and chaotic, i do not where are all the chapters in every subjects heading now. It seems like a very big blur. The spell-it-right competition this Sunday is making me even nervous, i will not be surprise if i have a breakdown. Unfortunately, i am a very bad speller and i do not know why teacher even chose me. Oh well, let's just get over this so i can walk to harris and look at books. Muahhahaa. i may be a bookworm but i can assure i do not read textbooks. I bet some of you have heard, i'll be performing Cha-cha for this year's concert. i won't say i don't like it i just feel uncomfortable whenever i think about it. To friends who are not going to the concert. screw you. kidding. you know i love you ann. but nadia is dead if i don't see her. So.. 8:49 PM
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Memory lane Tagbox Hey you, got something to say? Save it. Hahahaha. Jokes. I'll work on this later. Amazing people to stalk, xoxo. Deanna Maria Emerald Alyssa Nabila Abd Rahim Jessieca Benedict Janet Jacqueline Ann Gabrielle Trysha Gayle Kimberly Rose Nadya Saveena Rajinder Kaur Cindy Andrea Leonora Richard Evanyll Rose Audrey aka Da Audz Joyce Kabinchong Eva Marie Benitta Benjamin Celeste Jayne Adreanna Joyce Myra Buhavan Biusing It's Kingsley bitches Dianna Agron |
