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If life was a battlefield, I'd be the one living.
Ash. 19. I prefer simplicity.
"Life has always been a huge roller coaster ride for me and now I'm really getting tired of it. I just wanna put everything down and let go."
Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally.

Please stay, I don't bite.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009


so, let's start giving without wanting anything in return.
will post a proper post soon.
4:56 PM

Friday, June 26, 2009


RIP Michael Jackson.
Doesn't matter if your some whacko, your songs and performances are legendary. You are a gift from God to this earth.
Thank you.
1:28 PM

Monday, June 22, 2009

So, it's a Monday, i usually despise mondays. it's awful. Not only it begins the week with the first day of school starting but also when all the teachers and students get cranky. For no particular reason i presume. But, there's something about today that made me feel calm. No, it's not because i get to miss school tomorrow, haha. Though i think it is a blessing. lol. I think it has something to do with the pups and my parents coming back from a foreign country tomorrow. Weeeee, hope they bought me stuff. Anyways, hope it's not too late, but as my ma says, we should treat dad the same as any other day not only just because it's Father's day. Though, i think it's kinda true, still, i would wanna wish him anyways. =)
HAPPY FATHER'S DAY 2009 TO MY AWESOME DADDY.
okay, i know i don't update my blog very often, like every day. And i honestly apologize for that. What can i do if i'm buzy as a bee? yes, i know Nadia, i'm smart. hahahaha. Moving on, what i'm actually referring to is, buzy being the lazy pig that i usually am. I actually go online everyday but don't have the tendency to write a decent post for my lonely blog. It seems i have tons to write about, but yet i can't keep up with all the updates. Probably (to those who visits my blog often) all of you are fed up visiting my blog with nothing to read about. Again, i'm sorry.
Not so really good news of today:
1. i MIGHT pass my history.
2. i got to skip classes tomorrow.

Devastating horrible news of today:
1. 2 of my puppies have been given away. (you're in good hands i suppose.=))
2. i failed my Bio.
3. I have a dental Appointment tomorrow. yes, the reason of me not attending school.
4. i only slept for an hour in the afternoon.
5. I didn't get to go to Donggongon to buy books. FYI, i've been wanting to go since last week.
6. gotta ask money from the parents for the Cha2 thing.

Good News of today:
1. Parents coming back.

No news of today:
1. is the band in or not?

Yeah, amazing things happened in my life. I am truly grateful. brrrrrrrrr, i'm freezing. Wet hair under the air-con. Call me crazy.
Cause i am.
Ugh. sorry to have waste your time. nights yo.
p.s. Remember, i love you! and you can come back anytime you want. *wink*
10:05 PM

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

i know im kinda a late blogger. Forgive me for that. =)
so, for the past few days have been. . .
okay, i guess? not as awful as i expected. But, it has "bad" written all over it. I am certainly not pleased with my results. They have been a total disaster, but what can i do now? All i CAN do is do much better in the future which i doubt i can. huhu. And moan and sigh and weep about it. Latest updates?
i finally learned the cha-cha steps. completely. It was hard in the beginning but it ended up pretty well when i went for practice just now. The excruciating part is, we have to wear high heels when we hit the dance floor. Imagine falling, woah, totally embarrassing but i will not think of it. One must be positive in life. haha, yeah right. Umm, about the band thing, i really hope it'll work out how the band planned it to be. Fingers crossed. oh yeah, i cut my hair last week.=)
it's okay i guess. still looks the same actually except for the front hair. i wished it was a teeny weeny bit more shorter than it is. it always gets in the way. Well, i guess that's it for now. I'm gonna go watch the telly now. =)
p.s. May God protect my parents and other relatives who are in China now.
Nights, sugar.
9:01 PM

Sunday, June 14, 2009

school tomorrow, which is a monday=HELL. wish me luck to go through it okay? or rather the whole week. i know it's going to be an awful week. i can feel it in my veins. =(.
just hope it'll be fine. night people.
9:14 PM

Thursday, June 11, 2009




as you can see from my title, i think time passes by extremely fast, it's like i don't even have time to breathe. That's how hectic life should be, but my life doesn't even fit into that category as i am doing nothing and feeling time passing by. It's really scary once i had the chance to think about it. I honestly think the world is coming to an end though i wish it wouldn't have to happen. As i was waiting for Shrek the third to start during lunchtime, i figured 10 minutes would take quite some time to reach, so i ended up watching E news and it never crossed my mind that Shrek was halfway through the start. See? get my point? yeah, i can tell that my explanation was kinda lame. So anyways, part of me is telling me that i'm writing this post about time just cause school is around the corner but another part of me is thinking about the past and what i could do about it.
Anyways, back to reality, my homework has not been done and i'd figured that i'll TRY to do it tomorrow. It's gonna take a lot of determination and confidence to do it, unfortunately, i don't have any. =o
is it wrong to have change back the pass and relive it without having all these mistakes and thoughts haunting me in my mind. there are no regrets but i wish, i could change the pass and live it the right way. I'll try my best to forget about the sunshine when it's gone and deal with the thunder. Besides, i'm the only light you see.
10:44 PM

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

base on facebook.
WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. Last beverage: h2o.
2. Last phone call: Nabila.
3. Last text message: Anthonia.
4. Last song you listened to: the wind blows by the all american rejects.
5. Last time you cried: 2 days ago.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice: haha.
7. Been cheated on: nope.
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope.
9. Lost someone special: a long time ago.
10. Been depressed: we have those days.
11. Been drunk and threw up: lol. nope.
LIST THREE FAVORITE COLOURS:
12. baby blue
13. black
14. pink and tons other.

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend: yes=)
16. Fallen out of love: no.
17. Laughed until you cried: yes. haha.
18. Met someone who changed you: honestly? i don't know.
19. Found out who your true friends were: kinda.
20. Found out someone was talking about you: ahahaha, i think everyone has their own versions.
21. Kissed anyone on your friend's list: no laa.
22. How many people on your friends list do you know in real life: a bunch of them.
23. How many kids do you want? ask me again in 10 years. lol.
24. Do you have any pets:doggies and kitties. =) i love me all animals.
25. Do you want to change your name: nah, even if it's often used for some bitchy mean girls.
26. What did you do for your last birthday: SWEET 16! at my place. =)
27. What time did you wake up today: 11am.
28. What were you doing at midnight last night: eme and i were playing the computer.
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: august holidays.
30. Last time you saw your Mother: about an hour ago.
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life:a lot i guess.
32. What are you listening to right now : none.
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: nope.
34. What's getting on your nerves right now: at the moment, none.
35. Most visited webpage: blogs, you-tube, fs & fb.
36. Whats your real name: Ashley
37. Nicknames: Ash, shley, babe, munkey.
38. Relationship Status: married to a gorilla.
39. Zodiac sign: Pisces
40. Male or female?: Female, nu zi, girl, perempuan, betina.
41. Primary School?: Anglo Chinese, penampang.
42. Secondary School?: KK High School, kepayan.
43. High school/college?: im not sure yet. still thinking.
44. Hair colour: brown in front but mostly black.
45. Long or short: long. all the way.
46. Height: 160cm. i know. embarrassing. haha.
47. Do you have a crush on someone?: lol. do celebs count?
48: What do you like about yourself?: Reading.
49. Piercings: both ears.
50. Tattoos: maybe in the future.
51. Righty or lefty: Righty.

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery: none and i hope it stays that way. =(
53. First piercing: kindergarten.
54. First best friend: lisa and jecolyn. woah. that was waaaaaayyyy back then. haha.
55. First sport you joined: running 100 and 200m and long jump.
56. First vacation: Australia.
58. First pair of trainers: not sure. lol.

RIGHT NOW
59. Eating: nah. brushed my teeth. aint gonna eat. haha.
60. Drinking: just now, water.
61. I'm about to: read after this.
62. Listening to: nothing at the moment.
63. Waiting on: messages.

YOUR FUTURE
64. Want kids?: probably.
65. Get Married?: sure. later.
66. Career?: definitely.

WHICH IS BETTER :
67. Lips or eyes: a pair of eyes.
68. Hugs or kisses: both.
69. Shorter or taller: is this some sort of trick question?
70. Older or Younger: Older.
71. Romantic or spontaneous: spontaneous.
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: hahaha. both i guess. lol!
73. Sensitive or loud: i'll pass.
74. Hook-up or relationship: another trick question? Relationship.
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: hesitant.

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger: hahaha. i do not hook up.
77. Drank hard liquor: yeah. ssshhh.
78. Lost glasses/contacts: i don't wear any of them.
79. Sex on first date: let's do this. hahaha.
80. Broken someone's heart: im sorry by hinder.
82. Been arrested: no.
83. Turned someone down: lots of times. didn't mean to=(
84. Cried when someone died: of course.
85. Fallen for a friend?: yeah.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself: sure.
87. Miracles: yeah.
88. Love at first sight: nope.
89. Heaven: absolutely.
90. Santa Claus: i want to believe. haha. yes, im still a kid at heart.
91. Kiss on the first date: tidak.
92. Angels: definitely.

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope.
95. Did you sing today?: yes. with the guitar.
96. Ever cheated on somebody?: noooo.
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?: 1 year back. so i could re-take PMR and nail it.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be?:all those nice occasions =))
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: yeah. i guess?
100. Posting this as 100 truths: yeah. just did.

i want my money back but i'll just enjoy the show.
11:30 PM


copied from Jecolyn =) hope you don't mind.

1. Besides your lips , where is the favorite spot to get kissed?
*Cheeky

2. How did you feel when you woke up this morning?
*i somehow felt tired.

3. Who was the last person / people you took a photo with?
*can't recall.

4. Would you consider yourself spoiled?
*you can say that again. ahaha.

5. Will you ever donate blood?
*maybe when im older. im kinda afraid of needles.

6. Have you ever had a best friend who was of the opposite sex?
*absolutely.

7. Do you want someone to be dead?
*gosh, no.

8. What does your last text message say ?
* bha3,urg siok2 read spiderwick. haha.

9. What are you thinking right now ?
*bathing time. lol.

1o. Do you want someone to be with you right now ?
*taylor lautner perhaps?

11. What was the time you went to bed last night ?
*around 3am. danced the hoedown. haha.

12. Where did you buy the tee you are wearing now ?
*woah, it's old. so, can't remember.

13. Is someone on your mind right now ?
*totally.

14. Who was the last person who text you ?
*emerald and joannest.

TEN Lucky Person to do this quiz.

1. Deanna
2. Nadia
3. Arianne
4. Emerald
5. Joannest
6. cousin Inden
7. Jack
8. Cindy
9. cousin Jessica
10. sister Aud
(random names. lol.)

15. Who is no.5 having a relationship with ?
*wakakakaka.

16. Is no.3 a male or a female?
*a type of diamond actually. haha. she's muh woman.

17. If no.7 and no.1 get together , would it be a good?
*i guess. haha. but i don't wanna be no match-maker no more. so i guess, not.=(

18. What is no.1 studying about?
sport science.

19. When was the last time you chatted with them ?
1. Ena=yesterday on the phone. an awkward one.
2. Nadia=monday.
3. Arianne=it's been awhile.
4. Eme=yesterday. haha.
5. Joannest=last night.
6. Inden=long2 time already. huhu.
7. Jack=last Sat i think.
8. Cindy=last xmas.=(
9. Jessica=Years.
10.Aud=2 nights ago on msn. come back soon.

20.Is no.4 single?
*nope. heee.

21. Say something about no. 2.
*big boobs, great hair.

22. What do you think about no.3 & no.6 being together?
*haha, no way.

23. Describe no.9.
*matured and fun. =)

24. What will you do if no.6 and no.7 fight ?
*i don't think that will happen. hahaha.

25. Do you like 8?
*one of my best cousin. what's not to like?

Here's my survey for tonight, steal it you want. haha. no need to ask. okay, off to shower.
10:56 PM



school is around the corner and my god, i can't believe it's coming. this has been the most weird, ugly, fun, stupid, happy, sad and chaotic holidays i've ever been through. is it the hormones? naah, i guess it's just me. i have been very lazy these past few days, i think it's because i have school occupying the space in my brain. It's a nightmare. i wish i didn't have to go through all that crap and just let the sandman freeze time. I wish the time to let my puppies go (yes, again) will never come. It seems they are the only living creatures who show me pure love and joy. Corny? yeah, i thought so. Anyways, i learned the hoedown throwdown from the new miley cyrus movie, The Hannah Montana movie, and surprisingly it was fun and very satisfying once i got to perfect it. =) the movie ain't so bad either. I am NOT a hannah montana nor a big Miley Cyrus fan but i gotta admit that this movie is cool, looking forward to watching it. there's that hottie Lucas Till in there too =)) oh and tyra banks. haha. What were my new year resolutions?
a few of my friends have asked me that Question. I gotta say that i was in total blurrness when being asked that question. I started to think, what was my freaking resolutions? i didn't know.
till now.
1. Closer to God
2. learn to be independent
3. get far more better grades.
4. get taller.
5. guitar goddess.
6. less problems and more laughing without thinking of the consequences i have to face in the future.
7. be nice and play fair.
8. try to forgive and forget(it's hard for me, may i just choose to forgive and don't forget?)
9. get the new Nokia 5730
10. less pimples to deal with.
yeah, for now, that'll be my resolutions for the half-year of 2009. i hope i could do it even though i think it's crap. all the way except for number 1. =)
so yeah, school sucks, i hate you but can't stop talking about you, i want it to go away but it's hard and lastly, i believe in this situation, it's possible to hate and love at the same time. But of course, i love you all the way with hating you in between crimes. Besides, we are partners in crime. may we be for life.
p.s. I think i'll be checking out faeries and goblins and trolls and elves and sprites and merefolks and all the other fantastical creatures around me since Arthur Spiderwick helped me a lot. Thanks.
8:57 PM

Saturday, June 6, 2009

yay! i changed my blogskin. i like this one. the pictures are pretty and it's pure simplicity. well, i hope you guys like it too. enjoy. =)
night now.
12:23 AM

Friday, June 5, 2009

You think the person you like is cute?
totally.

Were your last two kisses from the same person?
haha.

Do you say the word "stoked"?
nope.

Do you like cats? Why or why not?
yes, adorable. though, i love me dogs better.

Do you straighten your hair?
nope.

Have you ever kissed someone who's name starts with M?
no.

If you found out your friend was smoking weed would you be disappointed?
wahaha. totally. both male or female. kick their asses.

Is there anyone you wanna push off the edge of the world?
no, i ain't that bad. LOL.

What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss?
puppies. life before this. it's hard to get it back. dancing.

Do you like the ocean?
who doesn't?

Is there anything you're currently holding back?
tons.

Have you ever trusted someone you wish you wouldn't have?
absolutely but no regrets.

Have you ever done something you knew was wrong?
everytime.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish hadn't?
yes, it ended satisfyingly. though i wish it didn't have to happen.

Ever been kissed under fireworks?
corny. haha.

Do you regret something you did yesterday?
yes.

Do you like text messaging?
all the time.

Ever been kissed under mistletoe?
i wish. we don't even have that here.

Do you yell a lot?
sadly, yes.

When will you see your mom next?
in the morning.

What's something that made you sad today?
nothing.

Have you ever thought you liked someone and then found out that you really don't?
yeah.

What were you doing at seven this morning?
dreaming.

Have you ever kissed anyone who's name started with a N, T or K?
wala.

If someone liked you right now, would you want them to tell you?
haha, sure.

Have you kissed someone with braces?
nope.

Longest phone conversation?
3 hours?

This time last year, can you remember who you liked?
sure. i've quite a good memory.

How late did you stay up last night?
nearly 1am.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with a B or C or A?
no. what's with the kissing names eh? haha.

Who are you talking to right now?
nobody but jindy is right over there. haha. we're totally in our own world right now. haha.

Do you ever get "good morning" texts from anyone?
yes. weee.

Who last texted you?
joannest.

What woke you up today?
jindy calling.

Who has the nicest smile?
a lot of people. they bright up my day.

Have you ever slept in the same bed with someone you liked?
gila ka?

Latest you stayed up in the past week?
3 something.

What were you doing at 9:30 last night?
reading i guess.

Does your phone ring in the middle of the night often?
yes.

Would you rather watch football or baseball?
Football. i don't really get baseball.

Who was the last person you had a phone conversation with for more than 2 minutes?
danial.

Have you ever gotten a sunburn so bad it hurt to move?
not really but it hurts when it has been touched.

Is there any emotion you're trying to avoid right now?
YES. go away.

Ever had a boy best friend?
munyits.

Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?
no, he's cool.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason?
i guess.

Do you have a brother?
yes. retard.

Are you missing anyone at the moment?
yes. a lot actually.

Has anyone told you they would never leave and left?
nope. not yet.

Have you ever liked someone older than you?
yes. actually, i liked guys that are older than me.

Today, would you rather go back a week or go forward a week?
BACK!

Rent a movie or go to the movies?
both.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
im not sure myself.

Do your parents actually knock on your door before entering your room?
no, they barge right in. it freaks me out.

Who was the last person you gave a dirty look to?
some juniors. wahaha, i know. it's mean. and im sorry. =0

Are your ears pierced?
yes.

What color is your shirt?
white with pink flowers.

What jewelry do you wear all the time?
i don't but i try to wear them often. earrings and bracelets.

How did you feel when you woke up today?
like a dried prawn.

Have you ever slow danced without any music?
haha. yeah. ssh.

Were you born in the same country you live in now?
yes. sana luyang.

What would your parents have named you if you were born the opposite sex?
archie i guess. that's what my ma would wanna name a baby boy. sadly, i don't have a baby brother.

How ticklish are you?
haha. not as much as nadia, but i am.

If you could change your eye color, what would you change it to?
blue hazel or green. haha, very white i know.

Are you in a good mood?
umm, kinda tired but yeah.

The last person you argued with?
bart.

Is any part of your body sore?
shoulders. too tensed i guess. lol.

Will this weekend be a good one?
i wish it will.

What are you going to do?
read.

Are you wearing makeup?
no, i seldom do anyways.

What's on your mind most today?
ugh. go away.

Would you ever consider piercing your lip?
no, but i would on my nose. lol.

Do you find the opposite sex confusing?
always.

Who is your last 5 texts from ?
my phone's in the room charging. so yeah.

Are you proud of the person you've become?
umm, a bit. i lack self confidence.

Do you like/love someone right now?
sure.

Where did you meet the last person you were in a car with?
yesterday. ena.

How's your week going?
Boring.

Whats your relationship with the person you last texted?
a married couple with 3 children. wakaka.

Will your next kiss be a mistake?
learn from your mistakes i guess.

Where are your siblings?
1 having the time of her life at Auckland and 1 roaming around KK to find something to do. i wish i could drive. damn.

Do you want kids?
laaaaaaaaaaatttttttttteeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr? sure.

What was the latest you been out?
2 days ago. monster vs aliens and night at the museum 2.

Do you have reason to smile right now?
nope but i do it often.

Has any one said they love you in the last week?
yeah. how sweeett. =))

Are you in the middle of texting someone?
nope.

Are you friends with someone who's older than you?
yes, i like it that way.

Are your fingernails painted black?
no. but i don't mind.

Do you sleep with your door open or closed
closed. dude, i wouldn't want to get sucked out of life from the mosquitoes.

Who was the last person you were on the phone with?
dan.

Who made you laugh today?
friends and messages.

Who made you laugh yesterday?
ena and some movies. haha. we were trying to act twilight but i guess we're a bunch of craps. hahaa.

Do you have a flip or slide phone?
neither.

Have you ever broken someone's heart?
ssshhh.

What's the mood you're in right now?
tired but wanting to do something wow.

Do you wish someone would call you right now?
sure.

Who are your favourite people to talk to when you’re down?
my darlings and munyit.

What's the worst abuse you have done to your phone?
dropped it. whoops. not on purpose.

Name something you dislike about the day you're having?
not having fun =(

Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now?
yeah.

Are you happy with life?
it's all under control at the moment. so yeah.

Do you think trust is a big deal?
definitely.
10:44 PM



i know i've been a lzy blogger these days. i just can't seem to have the right moment to post about something. as usual, nothing wow happened. this holiday is so boring, i wish it would last forever. i know, as excruciating as this seems, i don't want it to end. i like waking up late and especially sleeping late, it's like i couldn't do it on a school day. i've been staying at home doing nothing, inviting friends over and chit-chat, or as they say, gossip. yeah, we do that a lot. laugh like little girls, let out feelings that we would never have expected and all that ' girls just wanna have fun' stuffs. btw, i really gotta change my blogskin. it's really boring and not fun at all. but im really not in the mood to find and try to change it since im afraid all my information will be gone, just like before. so yeah, i'll wait and change it when i feel confident enough.
OMFG! (oh my freaking gosh)!
i know this is a very lame post, i will try to make a better and interesting post in the future. oh yeah, i know i should probably chillax but i just can't stop thinking of getting that new nokia 5730 phone. my phone's not really busted, but i could say it is getting rusty. unfortunately, i think i won't be able to get the phone soon. maybe later i hope. oh yeah, i went out the other day and went to speedy to check out AAr's latest album and by golly i was happy when i saw it. i nearly bought it but when i saw the insides i was like, 'screw this shit'. malaysian version? i mean c'mon, why they gotta take away the lyrics and images of the artists and not just sell the originals? people wants to buy original, hear original, see original. i was so annoyed. i doubt it in the future there will be any originals sold here. it's just like the pirated one. cheap and yet it costs rm30-40. or even more. might as well just buy the porated ones that cost less than rm10. i'd be more happier. so there it goes, my drama of the week. "don't take away the originality of an album". yeah well, i have not take my bath and my phone's running out of battery. so, i'd better go.
tell me, why do people suck sometimes?
i love yous.
10:14 PM
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