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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Music is basically the food to my soul. Literally. |
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Sunday, July 26, 2009
Chapter 1: A new beginning. It has been days, maybe a week since i've last updated my blog. I know i've said i didn't have time because i was too too busy before, but this time i seriously mean it. A lot have been happening this month. July is filled with "things" to do or to think or to say. I don't know if i'll be fooling myself if i said i don't want this month to end and move on to another chaotic month. SO August is around the corner, i have not been studying properly or doing my homework clearly. It all seems a blur. Hopefully i'll have better grades than before for the upcoming test in mid-August. And since that i ahve not been blogging recently and often-ly, i'll make it up to you by posting a very long one today. Everyone is talking about New Moon now. I just hope it'll be a better success than twilight in terms of scenes and actions. so, fingers-crossed. I went to the St.Simon's Youth concert last night. It was awesome. I didn't wanted to go at first but friends were asking me to go so i went. I did not regret it. There was this time where a girl gave a talk on how she experienced life, how i wish i could have the strength to move on and be happy and lively as she could be. I somehow look up to her even if i don't know her. Her story made me listen and ponder on what happened to me. Of course my "horrible" life was not as nightmarish as hers but still they were at some points. I believe in God and i believe in miracles but i don't think it'll come to me soon. Anyways, the purpose of me writing this post today is not on what happened last night or if i had any fun or other stuff but about how i feel for these past months. When they said being a teenager is really tough, i didn't feel it. Till now. Being a teenager is really hard. Not only you get your heart stabbed billions of times and actually feeling it while it happened but also getting fooled by rumors and stories and Friends. It is very hard for met to admit that i am at a very hard stage of my life at this moment. It actually took me nights to think if i had the guts on writing this here. But here i am and here it is. Chapter 1. To being a great and honorable author, one must first put pen to paper. Well actually type is better. When i was younger i wished for a best friend. Hoping that we can share the same interests and laugh at each other without getting hurt and having each others shoulders to cry on. I waited and waited for that unlucky person to be my best friend. I will not say that i didn't have best friends before, i did but they were never there when i really needed them. despite of everything, i am forever grateful for having friends like you. I am even thankful that i have someone to refer to as a 'friend'. I once had a friend, she was awesome and ultimately beautiful inside and out. I was lucky to have her as a good friend. I must say i was even jealous of her sometimes. For she made my friendships with others fade as she grew closer to them than me. But that didn't last long as i know that we could share. We did share. We shared the moments of happiness, laughter, anger, sadness, moods, joy, love, hatred, tears and anything possible for us to feel. I cherished each and every moment experienced. I will not forget those late night stories that made us laugh even if we were half-dead on the bed and those times where we were supposed to do our homework but ended up going to a mall and eating mcD. Those times where i would just call you and express my feelings and you would just listen and not say a word and those times where we would act like total blondes and laugh about it the next second. Those times where we watched horror movies and would instead laugh at those scary and disgusting scenes just to push the fear away. Those times where we would go to mass and sshing each other when each of us were talking to other friends. Those times where we would eat eat and eat and wouldn't feel embarrassed about it because we both knew it wasn't such a big deal. Those times where we would dance and sing like crazy just to make other people laugh at our asses. Those times where we would promise each other that this was our song and wouldn't let anyone else listen to it. Those times where we would do or act disgusting stuff and wouldn't be bother about it because it was too common to us. Just the 2 of us, the friendship already seems unbreakable.    Time passed, minds changed and feelings were busted. Of course every friendship has their ups and downs. People are not perfect. That's how we're created. And that was how this amazing friendship end. I got childish and acted like a bitch to her but with a reason. Though she doesn't exactly know what was the fault that she had done to make me act in such a way, i still wanted to be her friend. I missed the friendship that we once had and i did try to end the feud. But she didn't wanted it back. She was happy with her life now without me in it and wanted it to continue that way. How foolish i am to have not see what was coming for me? How could i be so restless and not knowing that the stories of lies could be filled with truth in one's ear. Of course i was stupid then but now i know that it is the right thing to do. She will have her life back without me in it. She will have her fun and joy without me and will live in peace for i will not be the one to be said backstabbing her anymore or making the sadness and the irritation that once was in her when we were friends. I do not regret for what have happened in my life with her in it. From the joy to the pain from the fights we had to the laughter and sadness. Though the saying when we have a big fight with someone very close to us, never fear because it will only make the bod stronger. Of course by now, you can see that it didn't happen to me. yeah, we had a big misunderstanding, but though it didn't make the bond stronger and instead made me lose a best friend, it made me stronger. It made me wiser and thoughtful. Something that i didn't have before. It was an extraordinary feeling to have a friend that's there by your side whenever you need her. Though i will not share those moments with you anymore, may you be happy and hopefully you will find the friendship that we once had, only.. with someone much better. I know that you will be just fine for I could hear more laughter from you from the other side of the class and i'd think to myself that this was a better decision, she's happy and i will soon be too. Thank you for a wonderful friendship. It may have ended physically but it will never end in my heart. The past is a great pain but i think it is a grand opportunity for me to move on and begin a new chapter in my life without you in it.  you got nothing to me. 3:09 PM
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Memory lane Tagbox Hey you, got something to say? Save it. Hahahaha. Jokes. I'll work on this later. Amazing people to stalk, xoxo. Deanna Maria Emerald Alyssa Nabila Abd Rahim Jessieca Benedict Janet Jacqueline Ann Gabrielle Trysha Gayle Kimberly Rose Nadya Saveena Rajinder Kaur Cindy Andrea Leonora Richard Evanyll Rose Audrey aka Da Audz Joyce Kabinchong Eva Marie Benitta Benjamin Celeste Jayne Adreanna Joyce Myra Buhavan Biusing It's Kingsley bitches Dianna Agron |
